Home > Comics, Humor > Spider-Man’s IRC Chat Log

Spider-Man’s IRC Chat Log


Let’s imagine if the Spider-Man comic was a chat room.  Aaaaand Scene…

* FN-Spider-Man Has Joined “NYC-Heroes”

<FN-Spider-Man> Hey everyone.  It’s Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
(^)_(^)

<JJJ> Ugh not you again

<Black-Catgirl> Hey sweet thing

<Not_MJ_Watson> Hey Tiger

<Not_MJ_Watson> Damnit Black-Catgirl find your own man

<Black-Catgirl> Pssh you can have the geek.  I want the man in the mask.

<Born_Harry> Ladies, ladies, There’s enough of me to go around

<Green_Gobby> Stop flirting with the ladies boy.  You have work to do.

* Born_Harry has left *NYC-Heroes* (Working for Dad :( )

<FN-Spider-Man> Man there’s just too much fighting going on.  Just once I’d like a break.

* FN-Spider-Man is now away (Rhino’s loose.  Man he smells worse than the actual thing I swear)

<JJJ> I’ve got a break for him.  “Breaking News: Spider-Man Robs Jewelry Store and Feeds Babies to Rhinos”

<Green_Gobby> I’d like to give him two breaks. The right leg and the left.

* Ed-E_Brock has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<ED-E_Brock> Hey JJJ, when you gonna give me some more work

<JJJ> When you start giving me better pictures than Parker

<Not_MJ_Watson> Oooo snap.

<FN-Spider-Man> Ok back.  That was quicker than I thought.  Luckily he’s dumber than a Rhino.  I mean seriously.  I think even a Rhino would stop charging
when it’s about to go over a cliff.

* ED-E_Brock has changed their name to Venom_Hungry

<Venom_Hungry> Parrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkerrrr!

<FN-Spider-Man> Who’s this Parker person? I have no idea what you’re talking about (<)_(<)

<Not_MJ_Watson> I know a Parker. And he’s fantastic in the sack ^.~

<Black-Catgirl> Spider-Man’s much better.

<Not_MJ_Watson> Wait. What?

<FN-Spider-Man> Sooooo how’s everyone today ha ha lovely weather today ha ha

<Green_Gobby> I’m sure Gwen thinks the weather is fine…oh that’s right HAHAHAHAHA

<FN-Spider-Man> Poor Gwen, so innocent and pure. We’ll miss you.

<Green_Gobby> Oh she wasn’t as innocent and pure as you think.  At least not when I was done with her.

<FN-Spider-Man> Shut up or I’ll kill you again!

* Born_Harry has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<Born_Harry> Hey dad! I just built a new engine that runs on water and reduces pollution by converting garbage into perfume exhaust

<Green_Gobby> Not now. Peter’s regailing me with tales of his past

* Born_Harry has left *NYC-Heroes* (Back to the drawing board)

* Teh_Jackal has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<Teh_Jackal> Hey everyone.  I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a few friends to the channel

* Spidey_Man has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Wall-Crawler has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Spectacular_Spider has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* B_Reilly has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Spider-Man2099 has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Armored_Spider has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Spidey-Hulk has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Spidah-Girl has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Anya has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Six_Armstrong_Spider has joined *NYC-Heroes*

* Mansome_Spider has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<FN-Spider-Man> Oh god.

<Black-Catgirl> Oh boy!

<JJJ> See! I Knew he was building an army to attack us all!

<Venom_Hungry> It’s a buffet!

* Man_O_Iron has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<Man_O_Iron> Ladies. Man. I’m so durnk.

* Not_Kingpin_Assassin has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<Man_O_Iron> Spider-Man. We need to talk about registration. You need to tell everyone you’re Spider-Man so that they’ll join my side.

* FN-Spider-Man has changed their name to Spidey_Is_Peter_Parker

<Spidey_Is_Peter_Parker> ….. (-)_(-)

<Black_Catgirl> ugh don’t remind me

* Not_Kingpin_Assassin has left *NYC-Heroes* (I’ve got a job to do.  Be seeing you soon MJ)

<JJJ> No Freaking Way!

<Not_MJ_Watson> Oh no! Aunt May!

* Mephisto_Went_Down_To_Georgia has joined *NYC-Heroes*

<Mephisto_Went_Down_To_Georgia> So who wants to play Let’s Make A Deal?

<Not_MJ_Watson> Oh I do!

<Spidey_Is_Peter_Parker> No wait!

* Spidey_Is_Peter_Parker has changed their name to FN-Spider-Man

* Mephisto_Went_Down_To_Gerogia has left *NYC-Heroes*

* Man_O_Iron has left *NYC-Heroes*

<Not_MJ_Watson> So who wants to show a hot single lady around tonight?

<Green_Gobby> Nah. Now that Parker doesn’t have you there’s no point in taking you

* Green_Gobby is now away (Ugh. Some kind of stupid war. Don’t these imposters know I’m the only Green menace?)

<FN-Spider-Man> Man i’m so alone… (T)_(T)

<JJJ> Breaking news! Election results are in. Yours truly is now Mayor of New York!

<FN-Spider-Man> Oh lord. At least things can’t possibly get any worse.

<Green_Gobby> I’m back, and Woot! Lucky shot!

* Green_Gobby is now known as King_Not_Green_Goblin and has been granted Admin status

<King_Not_Green_Goblin> Hear ye hear ye. By royal decree of me, the greatest hero this nation has ever seen, I now dub Spider-Man an enemy of the state.

* FN-Spider-Man has been kicked from NYC-Heroes

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Categories: Comics, Humor Tags: , ,
  1. October 8, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    This is great you really captured all of what spider man is in a web chat well done,

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