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Warcraft & You: What Your Class Says About You

December 31, 2009 5 comments

Welcome back to another chapter of Warcraft & You!  Where we dissect the meaning of the World of Warcraft player base… whether they like it or not.

Today, we will explore the classes of WoW:

The Druid – “I like furry porn!”

Nothing says "Defender of Mother Earth" like flaming Hellfire shouldpads!

Druid players tend to “think” they know all classes.  Just because they can do pretty much everything, they know they can do all well.

The Death Knight – “I want as many skulls on my body as humanly possible!  I am having a skull implanted onto my forehead.  That would be so awesome!”

Gnome DK's. Too emo for Gnomeregan.

Death Knights (or DK’s) are the “Hero” (or as everyone else calls it NOOB) class of WoW.  Players tend to want to emulate Arthas whenever possible.  These players also tend to believe their damage output is “god-like”.

The Hunter – “Pets count as MY DPS.  It’s perfectly fair.”

A newbie Hunter, or the intro for a beastiality porno? You decide!

Hunters are extremely easy to play… or so I’m told.  Thusly, they have earned the notorious nickname of “Huntards”.  I got ganked by too many of these asses in the Battlegrounds to have any unbiased opinion.  Jerks.

The Mage – “IM LOW ON MANA!”

Arcane Explosion! Arcane Explosion! Arcane Explosion!

The Mage class has a built in way of securing Mana.  Why?  They need it.  They bleed Mana all over everything leaving a sticky residue.  Kinda like slugs, only with more explosions.

The Paladin – “I like everything handed to me.  Mounts, healing, damage, tanking, buffs.  Everybody loves me, but I feel so alone…”

I put points in my Holy Jeebus talent. It makes me 20% more lovable!

Insert “I’m a Little Paladin” song here…

It’s really all you gotta say.

The Priest – “STOP ASKING ME IF I WANT TO HEAL YOUR STUPID GROUP!  IF I WANTED TO HEAL AN INSTANCE I WOULD!”

My sinister appearance only means that I will heal you MORE!

The Priest players are under appreciated.  It’s a tough class to play, high demand for your skills, and you are constantly bothered.  Only thing that makes it worthwhile is my “Shadowform”!  I can DPS like a mage now!  *SIGH*  I hate life.

The Rogue – “I’m a PVP god!”

I can too be useful in raids!

I have not played a rogue past 10.  Why?  Completely useless unless your opponents likes to take it in the ass.  Now if that’s what you like…

The Shaman – “I wanna be just like Thrall when I grow up…”

I have 4 level 80 Shamans. I am so leet I can solo instances by myself!

This is what rogues should be like.  They play awesome, unless they try to heal an instance WITHOUT gear, because they “know” the can.  Unless of course you’re a Draenei, then all you do is multi-box.

The Warlock – “I’ll just stay back here while my pet does all the work”

Demon Wings FTW!

I honestly cannot tell you how many Warlocks have been more worthless than the demon they are using.  Usually they use the imp for the Stamina buff, and then we kinda forget they are there…

The Warrior – “Saurfang!  RWAAAAAR!”

Warriors. Overcompensating their lack of magic for the past 5 years.

Can they tank?  Extremely well.  Do they shut up about how well they tank?  Never.  Gifting the shield they’ve been drooling over to another tank?  Priceless.

Indie Game Heads-Up: Zombie Driver

It's Like Driving Miss Daisy, Only With More Brain Eating.

Thanks to Steam’s massive holiday deals, I was able to finally pick up Zombie Driver.  ZD is a game where you basically drive around a city infested with zombies.  You’re able to dispatch them with a variety of weapons or simply by just plowing/sliding your car into them.  The game itself is relatively simple in concept, and you shouldn’t get this if you’re expecting much more.  You get a series of missions that all entail finding survivors within a certain amount of time and bringing them back to base.  Luckily once you pick up the last group of survivors your timer basically stops so you’re free to drive around as long as you want just killing all the zombie you want.

The actual gameplay is very reminiscent of classic arcade games.  Simple concepts that are a lot of fun in execution.  There are a number of different zombie types including ones that throw things at you, zombie dogs that are faster, brute zombies that damage your car and slow you down more, and fat zombies that explode on impact to do a lot of damage.  This simple variations mix things up a bit when ramming your way through a horde.  You’ll have to be careful of your exact path or else you’ll take a lot more damage as you plow through.   You’ll also be able to unlock a number of cars that all have varying stats such as more armor on a police car, a faster speed on a sports car, or more passenger room on the bus.  The bonuses to each vehicle as well as to the weapons you pick up are all upgradeable using money made from mowing down zombies or finding cash power ups.

Probably one of the biggest things I enjoyed about the game is that it’s visually beautiful.  The city is rendered phenomenally, and though the zombies/survivor models aren’t the best, everything else just looks fantastic.  The lighting and modeling really captures the feel of an abandoned city, and the company has released a mod that changes the time in-game to night so you must go by your headlights.

The game is definitely worth your time if you’re bored one day, and the only shame is that the game is as short in length as it is.

Star Wars Facebook Status Updates

December 29, 2009 Leave a comment

LOL!

Here is a sampling from College Humor.com

If you want to read the rest go here.

Categories: Humor, Internet, Sci-fi Tags:

French Zombie Film: The Horde

While Zombie films have been starting to grow stagnant, there is still a lot that can be done with the genre. With “The Horde” we have a story of a group of cops and crooks that are in a standoff in an abandoned skyrise. In the middle of all this something happens that unleashes fast zombies into the world. The group must band together to try to survive. The film looks really interesting in the level of gore and detail as well as being trapped by the horde outside. The people feel more real as well based on what little we’ve seen in the trailer. Check it out yourself.

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Categories: Uncategorized

Doctor Who: The End of Time – Part 1 Thoughts (Minor Spoilers)

December 27, 2009 1 comment

He Will Knock Four Times

The first in the last two episodes of both David Tennant and Russell T Davies’ runs on Doctor Who aired last night, and it certainly set things up for whats to come.  The big reveal of this episode was the return of the Master played by the marvelous John Simms.  I won’t give away the details of his return, but needless to say something goes a little wrong and he’s left an insane and hungry shell of a man.  Though he was already pretty insane to begin with.  His accident in his return process also left him with a little extra helping of super powers as well to make him even more menacing.  The confrontation between the Doctor and the Master is a bit lackluster by comparison to that from the 3 part finale that ended with “The Last of the Time Lords.”  This may be due to the fact that the Master’s return is only part of the events that are going on.

In general the Doctor seems out of his normal flow.  This is intentional, however, because we are finally seeing the Doctor afraid of what’s to come.  He actually fears death for the first time, and it shows how much more human-like his nature has become.  Perhaps part of the reason for his fear is that he regrets a lot of the recent decisions of his that fell through such as the events in the Waters of Mars and the handling of the Doctor-Donna.

Probably the other draw to this first part is the setup for what’s to come.  Wilfred Mott(Bernard Cribbins), Donna’s father, plays a large role in this episode as it establishes that there must be something special about him because of how often he crosses paths with the Doctor.  Not much was revealed as to what this may be, but speculation can include lots and even up to the point that he may be a human trapped Time Lord.  We also find near the end that Donna may be remembering some of her time with the Doctor which will lead to some big problems I imagine.  This is where the other big draw appears at the end of the episode.  We see that the Narrator for this episode, played by Timothy Dalton, is some high representative for the Time Lords and that it seems they have survived the great war with the Daleks.  We’ll have to wait till New Years Day to get the answers we crave and get our final moments with the Tenth Doctor.

Categories: Sci-fi, TV Tags: , ,

5yphon’s Trailer of the Week!

December 25, 2009 Leave a comment

Happy Christmas and Merry Chanukanuka!

SWEET!  Super-villains getting their just due.

Post-apocalyptic goodness!  Crunchy, even in milk.

Is it a zombie movie?  I don’t know!  But hot damn!

Happy LoLidays

Oh Christmas Trunk, Oh Christmas Trunk.

These people only have enough christmas spirit to decorate the trunk.  What’s worse is that they actually pay someone else to just decorate the trunk every year.

Happy LoLidays from us at Geeklat.

Categories: Humor Tags: , , ,
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