Home > Gaming, Humor > Warcraft & You: What Your Race Says About You

Warcraft & You: What Your Race Says About You

I have recently returned to World of Warcraft, and you know what strikes me?  Why do players pick their respective races?

The answer to this question is largely based to the type of player you are.

In order to fully explore this issue, I have jotted down a few notes to help my readers along on my experiences with WoW.

#1 – Humans

I'm better than you are. Stupid orcses!

What this says about me:  “I’m a racist.”

Players who play humans, are usually self-centered pricks.  Also, the lore pretty much paints humans as nazi’s.

#2 – Orcs

My character's name is Thrull. The greatest Shaman EVAR!

What this says about me:  “Thrall is the best!  I’m gonna be Thrall at lvl 80!”

Orc players for the most part LOVE Thrall.  I mean, if it was possible for them to make sweet, sweet love to the man, they would.

#3 – Night Elves

Hehehehehehe. Boobies.

What this says about me:  “I am so homophobic, I need to tell everyone that I want to stare at digitized ass all day!”

I don’t really need to add to this do I?  Well, I do.  Goldshire.  If you play WoW you know what that means…

#4 – Undead

Character name? Dyrk Angyll. Find my webpage: http://www.lorddyrkmyrkz.com

What this says about me:  “My every moment is pain.  I hate you and all who look like you.”

Undead players run the gamut from emo freaks to necrophiliacs.  Beware!

#5 – Dwarves

A drunken Scotsman who likes to shoot things? Sign me up!

What this says about me:  “I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think of me.  I came to play, and play hard.”

I have yet to meet a Dwarven player who doesn’t know his stuff.  And that’s a compliment, I hate the Alliance.

#6 – Blood Elves

This is what all Blood Elves look like. And these are the males.

What this says about me:  “I’m a Horde player who hates the way he looks.”

Don’t let the picture fool you, ALL Blood Elves are gay.  Even their players.  They just need lose 15 more pounds or they’ll never be pretty!

#7 – Gnomes

2'7" of burning psychotic rage

What this says about me:  “I’m not only eccentric, I’m funny too!”

The gnomes are two extremes:  complete douchebags or funny as hell.  You decide in the BG’s.

#8 – Trolls

What part of Jamaica am I from? Right near the beach...BOOOOOII! Lotta mercy!

What this says about me:  “Cannibalism, voodoo, and racial stereotypes are ok with me.”

The players are obviously uncaring of the Jamaicans’ sensibilities.  The bastards.

#9 – Draenei

Lookit my bling-a-ding fool!

What this says about me:  “I only care about loot.  This is why I multi-box.”

97% of the Dranei I see are either Shamans or Death Knights.  Why?  Hell, if I know.  PVP is their way of life.  Yet, the lore says they love peace?  Hypocrites.

#10 – Tauren

Moo. I am not a hamburger. Ass.

What this says about me:  “I get to be a friggin’ MINOTAUR?  BADASS!”

Tauren like to be bigger than life.  Their ego also tends to be as big as their bodies.  Most of the time.

If any of these sound familiar, they should.  What do I play?  Tauren Death Knight.

You decide what I am.


Categories: Gaming, Humor Tags: , ,
  1. Michael Bonner
    December 4, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    I vote gay

  2. December 4, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    I’ve always picked based on classes generally. I find that I played the different races in different styles. My taurens were wise and elderly, my blood elves were douchebags/bitchy, my Draenei were friendly, my humans were boring, Trolls were light hearted, my Night Elves were actually just really really evil.

    • Michael Bonner
      December 4, 2009 at 2:25 pm

      I can see that. I still just don’t c why WoW is so big. I tried it, I hated it, and I will never try it again :)

  3. December 10, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    I choose based on class as well. If you are going to be a warlock, there is none better than undead. C’mon, eating your corpses? That just rocks. You will never be out of mana.

    Mages = blood elves. Ew, I don’t want you TOUCHING me, you better be dead before you get close.

    Etc. You see where I’m going. I have always wondered why there were no tauren paladins. Good thing they are adding that to the expac.

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